Shoes of the Swamp People.

So, History Channel has this partially disgusting, mostly awesome, always exciting TV show that I can’t seem to turn off. There‘s something addicting about their muddy, cussing, punching, shotgun-shooting ways that I can‘t resist. It’s Swamp People of course! It’s a show about crazy men who catch wild alligators and then they wrestle and shoot them…and bring them back to their houses so their wives can cook them. Yeah, awesome, I know. So, in honor of my admiration, I decided today was the day to walk in the shoes of the swamp men! {Do swamp men wear shoes?}

We got up this morning and decided since it was a scorcher outside…we should hang out in the bleeding hot sunshine all afternoon. {That is the best thing to do you see, because sunburns hurt but they make you tan.} So, we hauled out the old drift boat and dragged it to the pond.

The watery joyride began as mostly just a cruise around the mossy edges of this natural beauty…

But it turned into a wild adventure, because…we found TURTLES!

We hit the mother load and found a family of turtles. So, of course, we had to catch them. It wasn’t easy though, I’ll tell you that right now. After three hours of sweating it up in the pure aluminum boat, {aluminum is metal and metal & heat are BFF’s apparently} and sneezing like crazy people because the farmers just cut their hay, we had some straight up contact with these little guys…

 

…who have claws…that actually kind of hurt.

And maybe you didn’t know this {because I didn’t} but if you catch the big alpha-male turtles, they hiss at you. And it is creeeeeeepy. So creepy, in fact, that you don’t want to touch them with your bare hands so you have to use a shirt to hold them instead.

So, I admit that catching turtles is nothing like wrestling alligators. And the pond is nothing like a swamp. And eating chicken tenders for lunch is nothing like eating alligator stew…but it was a good time.

A day in the shoes of the swamp people…completed.

{Jordan was man enough to touch Bowzer with his bare hands}